Insightfully

Abuse – physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, organizational, societal, cultural, etc., is abuse. The situation is the person who is being abused has always been abused. They just don’t know it. Because it may be  learned as far back as childhood.

Those who have been abused from early on believe this is the ‘normal’ way of life. So, it is learned. As we move into adulthood those abused continue to be abused, until they finally learn differently.

Backstory: My first thought of continued abuse came when I wrote a spotlight for the newspaper I was working for, and a female editor pointed out that what the person said to me was inappropriate.

To this day, I don’t recall the exact verbiage, but deep inside it rings true to me – now that I’ve had the epiphany once again that I have been abused. Heck, I manifested people around me who are/were abusive toward me. There’s that Law of Attraction.

Like me, abusers may not even know they are abusers. Why? Because that was their way of life as well. When does the cycle stop? Perhaps, it never does. Do you know how many times I have had this epiphany? When I do, I passionately put up more walls, more boundaries to keep those types of people out. I become more aware. Eventually, it fades, and the feeling gets buried.

The healing spiral reminds me of this. When we think we have healed everything we can around a situation, something comes back around to remind us that we have not – the work continues.

Forgiveness is always in my heart for others, but to what extent. Yes, it’s best to forgive those who have done you wrong or abused you. Sometimes, it’s really tough to get past that.

When you give and give and give, people take and take and take. They only want from you what they want. When you can’t or won’t give any longer, you are looked upon as someone who doesn’t go along and therefore are inconsequential. Just look at the abuse going on in this paragraph alone.

It’s so easy to put band-aids on when situations arise. To me alcohol and drugs are band-aids. They help to keep what’s really going on at bay. I remember having my first drink around 10 years old, maybe sooner.

Is everyone abused in one way or another? I often wonder if it’s a generational thing. A lot of my friends were abused and the more I talk about it the more I become aware of others.

You may not think you are being abused – take a look at your job, your friends, your family, your community. Is there a healthy give and take going on?

All you can do to rectify situations is talk to the people you feel are being abusive toward you. Let them know how you feel about situations. At the very least, give them something to think about. If it cannot be resolved, you may have to get a new job or move. It’s better than staying in an abusive environment.

Therapy is really the best option. Work on yourself and keep working on yourself until you finally can discern the abusive behavior and move on from it.

Blessings of Peace and Love

P.S. It’s OK to cry. Never apologize for it. Crying is healing.